#suicides not the answer

[pebble-ink]

a silent voice manga panel

[clingyduoapologist]

"Are you happy?"

"Getting there."

No it's fine it;s like fine that c!tommy's story is one of healing and growth no it's cool like I don't even care that Tommy is a character defined by loss and hardship who always found a way to keep going IT'S FINE that his epilogue is one of a boy who's now a young man, who's still hurting but is once again on the road to recovery, who's done so much growing up but still has some left to do. I DON'T EVEN CARE that this epilogue is one that tells us that he's still fighting for the little boy who's childhood was taken all those years ago. Fighting to be happier. And he may not be quite there yet, but he's getting there. He's getting there...

[puppyeared]

Nick and Pearls

[rodolfoparras]

Brb, putting Digger in a Boomerang-shaped chastity cage to boost that humiliation kink he's just discovered

-💀

Digger would absolutely love the idea at first, all hot and bothered at the thought of his big fat cock trapped in a cock cage, unable to touch himself, or just wearing it while out and about in public, maybe even opting to go without boxers just so the little contraption is clearly shown through his prison uniform, proudly smiling at anyone looking down at his crotch.

However as soon as it’s actually on and he’s unable to touch his dick, he’s over this little fantasy, especially when you go out your way to tease him, groping and rubbing up against him til he’s begging and pleading for you to take the cage off of him, speaking to him in the way that usually has blood rushing down to his dick, telling him how a slut like him shouldn’t mind that his cock is locked up, he doesn’t even know how to use that thing at all, riling him up so much til there’s nothing left to do but show him mercy by pounding into his ass and through your laughter asking him how a greedy slut like him fails to reach his orgasm, knowing fully well it’s because of the little mechanism.

He’d most likely try to find ways to break out of it, getting so frustrated he sneaks away, pants pulled down his legs and thighs parted; ready to take any weapon at hand to the cock cage and if you were to catch him in the act he wouldn’t even care, he’d just smile at you, face flushed from exhaustion, body drenched in sweat, cock finally free, fully hard and weeping and eagerly waiting for you to punish him

[m1d-45]

will you promise that i'll see you again?

summary: your people refuse reason, and their damage refuses to heal. when it seems as if the whole world has left you, your dutiful knight still remains by your side.

word count: 2.3k

-> warnings: implied suicidal ideation (reader + unnamed side character), reader's previous deaths are mentioned in somewhat graphic detail

-> gn reader (you/yours)

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr || @yuryuryuyurboat || @undrxtxd || @rainswept || @wanderersqt || @rozz-eokkk

< masterlist >

“you’re one of the only things keeping me going, you know.”

dainslef turned to you in surprise, the even neutrality to your tone a sharp contrast to the rapid pace of his heart. he wasn’t a fool, he knew that the hunt had to be taking a heavy toll on you, but this…

this was more than he expected.

he knew he was one of a pitiful few who saw through celestia’s false puppet, who knew you for you and not their mirage. he knew that the entire world was hellbent on erasing you from existence, that you’d been forced through your own death countless times as teyvat pulled you apart and pushed you back together far from the scene of your would-be murder. he saw the golden scars across your skin, the dried remains of blood lining the wounds you hadn’t been able to patch yet. he’d been the one to wash them away, not minding the refuse soaking into his gloves if it meant your hands could be clean.

he recognized the dull exhaustion in your eyes, the same as the ones he saw in the reflections of lakes. tired, worn, barely there, hanging on by one solitary string that was wound so tightly around a desperate hand.

you had always been his reason for continuing. when the traveller broke down and the ruler of the abyss hid from the sun, you were there. when the chasm’s mud clung to his boots and the memories in his head burned as nails forced between his eyes, you were there. his rosary was kept tight to his chest at all times, familiar prayers pulling him up in the morning and forcing him to sleep at night. he was alive for far, far too long, but you made it bearable. you were his duty, his promise.

he never once thought that he’d be yours. then again, he never thought that he’d have to defend you from the ones you once called friends. time never did pass how he expected it to.

“…leading light?”

you looked down, twirling blades of grass around your fingers. he had led you up to a mostly desolate area of sumeru, west of bayda harbor. it close enough to the sea, forest, and desert that you could reasonably make an escape through any of those routes if need be, while also providing a rather pleasant view. the sky was bleeding red and gold as the sun sank below the horizon, a remarkable sight that fell on blind eyes. there was no use trying to enjoy nature’s beauty when he still kept one hand on his sword and both ears pricked for the slightest sign of danger.

you shouldn’t have to worry about your safety. you shouldn’t have to prioritize based on how likely you are to get hurt, or how easily it would be to make an escape. you still flinched when the wind blew a little too quick, used to it heralding armored footsteps and battle cries. in another life, you were welcomed with open arms, able to enjoy yourself without constantly being on high alert. teyvat did what it could to adapt; the air was still, frozen in time, barely a bird chirping for miles. it was meant to be comforting, he thinks, but dead silence was more unnerving than any breeze.

“i mean it.” he could hear every shift in his cloak around your shoulders, the heavy fabric doing little to soothe your stress. it was yours more than it was his now, to the point he felt claustrophobic wearing it. how long had he been traveling with you? the days blurred.

“i don’t doubt you.” he never would. never could. he’s not sure, even if he somehow wanted to, that his body would allow him to treat your words as anything less than fact. “but i don’t understand what you mean.”

you were a god. the creator, the first, the one that shaped the sovereigns scales and laid the foundations of earth. you predated the archons, celestia, the very skies themselves…

and he, somehow, was a driving motivation for you?

his words must have been funny, a sharp laugh tumbling out of your mouth. it was bitter, humorless, and somewhat raspy. he made note to find some water for you later. “what else could i mean?” you turn to him, some of his confusion lost as your eyes found his. even this burnt out, deep bags set beneath them, you still managed to steal the very air in his lungs. “you’re the only reason i’m still here.”

he didn’t know what to say. what was there to be said, when you were you and he was him? when the world had abandoned you, it made sense you’d cling to what remained faithful. it was merely coincidence he happened to find you first, that’s all. coincidence that you trusted enough not to run from, coincidence that you allowed to care for your injuries. there was nothing to say, because you held nothing for him in particular, only leaning on him out of need. he had to believe that. what was he left with if that wasn’t true? an awkward truth hid beneath his well-known lies, too large for him to see the edges, let alone to contain.

“please… do not say such things again.” to ask of his god what he could not ask of himself was surely some form of heresy, as was willingly laying aside his guard when he was the only one who was tasked with protecting you. he pulled his attention from the tide below, from the rustling trees, holding faith that the world would not be needlessly cruel. he stepped forward, kneeling beside you. even up close, you still seemed painfully small. “it is your own resilience that has allowed you to persevere.”

it’s the earth that leads you from danger.

it’s the water that follows you wherever you go.

it’s the leylines that whisk you to safety.

it’s the wind that warns you of what’s to come.

it’s the you from the past that protects the you in the present.

it’s the you in the present that provides for the you in the future.

it’s you, from everywhere and everywhen, continuing to fight.

and yet you sigh. you look away, across the sea, tracing fontaines skyline. “it really isn’t. i was lucky to run into you when i did.”

you had just crossed the wall back into the forest, burning hot and shaking. he was the lucky one, in truth, to be able to pick your figure out from the sand below. perched on a high cliffside, even mitachurls were reduced to small brown flecks.

you had worn a cryo mage’s cloak, which was what initially drew his attention. abyss activity wasn’t uncommon in the area, but a cryo mage in the desert… that was cause for intrigue. he stepped forward and slid down the steep face in front of him, a slight puff of dust marking his landing in the desolate sand of old vanarana.

he didn’t know what to expect. you stumbled around the jagged remains of a tree, heading for the statue of the seven. he followed, only growing more confused. cryo and dendro did not react with each other, and there was no way to “slow” a statue. a scouting mission, maybe? but why a cryo mage, when pyro would have been far more advantageous in the case of an attack?

he leaned around the corner carefully, prepared for the sight of a staff or the chanting of abyssal magic filling the air. the entire world seemed to be holding its breath, frozen in place and waiting for some trigger to continue.

he saw none of that. you were collapsed at the foot of the statue, faint wheezing only making it to his ears by virtue of the standstill around him. you held no staff, commanded no magic, your chest barely moving with air.

he’d never seen a mage seek out the archons when dying. one hand squeezed the handle of his sword as he crept forward, ready to strike should the situation turn against him. the sand barely shifted beneath his feet, his own heart sounding too loud to his ears. you did not move, showing no signs that you had noticed his approach. he still didn’t trust it.

your cloak was tattered and torn, with thick gloves atypical of a mage. they reminded him more of hilichurl wraps, which was strange considering you wore no mask. your face was instead covered by what looked like eremite cloth, just as stained and dirtied as the rest of your clothes. what he could see looked almost human; in another life, he could believe you were a weary traveller, lost amidst the sand.

he was acting foolish. if the abyss had a human tool, he needed to figure out why. he reached down, undoing the sloppy knot of your veil and letting the brocade fall limply to the grass.

…grass. he blinked, eyes flickering between the ground and your face, not sure which was harder to believe. flowers had bloomed around you, protecting your body from the blazing sands, and he’d be a fool not to recognize the face plastered all over every bounty board.

he didn’t understand. if nothing else, he thought the archons would have enough respect for their creator to know when they were being lied to, yet before him was barely living proof of the inverse. sweat beaded along every inch of exposed skin, deep-set heat exhaustion burning you from the inside out. how could you be a threat? how could they be so blind?

he looked again, the shine of elemental sight straining his eyes, catching flickers of the dendro energy pouring from the statue. you were the only one the archons would feed. you were the only one to make the very earth break its own rules, allowing lotuses to bloom from barren soil. something painfully similar to rage threatened what remained of his rationality, and it took all he had to push it aside.

that didn’t matter. if he went off on some banal revenge quest, he’d be no better than them. your safety mattered more. he picked you up and set aside how calm his curse felt, beginning the trek back to his camp. behind him, the flowers already began to wither, losing their persistence without you to foster it.

perhaps that initial meeting was luck. but these was no luck involved in your trust in him. when you woke up and saw him at your side, you chose to trust him. you chose to believe that he was not like the others, that he would protect you, and he was forever grateful for that trust. nobody could fault you for being angry, for being spiteful about what you were put through and choosing to lash out. nobody would have the right to be upset if you chose to vent your wrath against those that had hurt you.

but you didn’t. you chose, again and again, to believe in the world. you chose to let them live their lives, even if it meant getting hurt again in the process. you chose a quiet life traveling with him over the comfortable life on your throne. to willingly choose to travel with a disgraced knight to spare your people guilt… he couldn’t decide if it was noble or reckless. either way, he was selfishly happy that he was the one to stay by your side.

“i won’t try to convince you. but, please.. do not give up on yourself so easily.” i know far too many who have died by the same hand. “the world and its opinion does not define you. only you get to decide where fate leads.”

you lean towards him, and he thinks you might have passed out- but no, your head lands on his shoulder with far too much precision. he stiffens, not used to existence without a constant pain beneath his skin. “how motivational. you tell all your soldiers that?”

his heart is beating too quickly, thoughts unusually hard to grasp. you’re the only one who could have this effect on him. he only wished it wasn’t now, when your belief in yourself was on the edge. “i mean it. none of this is your fault, and neither are celestial actions the people’s fault. i know that you are hurt, but i don’t want you to accept that main needlessly. you shouldn’t have to view your creation with such pain.” slowly, carefully, he raises the hand closer to you, doing his best not to disturb you as he settles it on your arm. he’s can only hope that the contact brings you as much comfort as it does him. “if nothing else, believe me. promise you’ll at least try.”

he doesn’t think you’ll agree. why would you make a promise to one who represents the heaven’s betrayal? why would you let him hold you close at all, when you can surely sense the bindings of those who tried to kill you wrapped tightly around his soul? he doesn’t know. all he can do is hope.

“…alright, dainslef. i promise.”

twilight has long since fallen, and yet he smiles for the first time in centuries.

[valtsv]

we already know that VAL's lies don't work on herself; that she cannot convince herself of the reality of the stories she tells as she can others unless she truly believes them. which makes this such a kind ending for her - in spite of it being a suicide - because she isn't asking anyone for anything anymore. she isn't begging for a cruel, hollow, petty god that only listens when it serves to sate its own hunger to answer. this is self-determination, which by necessity must include the right to harm oneself and end one's own life. and yes, it is a tragedy that she decides that there is nothing left for her but to die. nothing to look forward to but an end to the pain. nothing else she can do for herself or for the world but let the last story die on the parched lips of the last storyteller. but it's also a victory. they tried to destroy her, to unmake her - like, i cannot emphasise enough that VAL was always suicidal, and had already killed herself; she ended her own life when she volunteered to be hallowed - but she still manages to rewrite the ending, and set herself free.

this is an affirmation. this is acceptance. a gift lovingly given and gratefully received from herself, to herself. she's finally found faith in herself. she's remembered who she was. she was already dead, but she makes sure she leaves on her own terms. she gets the last word. she whispers one final comfort to the person whose mutilated corpse she's been dragging around like a dead weight ever since the doors to that hallowing chamber opened. and then she lets go.

[inked-up-gentleman]

Mental health matters

[almostaknight]

Re: Your tags on that Cersei/Jaime/Brienne post. You don't think Jaime is the valonqar?

there are many things speaking for jaime being the valonqar, but I've never been 100% sold on it. been thinking about the prophecy again and it strikes me as curious that maggie uses the article the over the pronoun your.

she is similarly vague when it comes to cersei‘s future king-husband. cersei clearly expects to wed prince rhaegar, then changes these expectations to mean she‘s marrying king rhaegar, and ends up marrying king robert.

I like how the rule of three applies here, kind of how it could apply to the valonqar bit itself, with cersei believing it to be tyrion, the readers expecting it to be jaime, and it ending up being someone else entirely.

in the same scene maggie intentionally uses the pronoun she in combination with death to hint at cersei killing her friend melara shortly after this.

strikes me as odd that maggie would be so explicit with the pronouns of melara‘s killer and not with cersei‘s.

some chapters after that a tyroshi man presents cersei with not-tyrions head and uses the expected pronoun in combination with valonqar.

intentional on grrm‘s part? idk. I‘ve always liked the idea of cersei bringing about her doom on her own; that she herself is the valonqar. maybe she chokes on some poison that was intended for someone else? or maybe I just don’t relish the idea of jaime killing his twin sister.

[theminecraftbee]

I did things and it didn’t work. I knocked on doors and handed out flyers and got people to vote. It all meant nothing. I’m exhausted.

first: for what it's worth i don't think it was for nothing. if nothing else, it means that you and the people you worked with tried. that you cared enough to do that. i don't know. i think we'd all be even more upset if no one had done it.

second: when i say "do something" i don't mean it as a moral imperative, as to imply you haven't done something. a lot of us have done something. i mean it for your own sake. from experience: i wanted to die the most in my life when i could not find anything to do about my situation. when i felt like there was nothing i could "do something" about. i felt helpless. right now, it's easy to feel helpless. the "do something" commandment is that if you find something to do, even if it's not much, you're going to escape that pit of despair.

third: the thing you "do", frankly, doesn't have to be what you've been doing. if you hate the dems right now or feel abandoned by the things you did, change what you're doing. maybe what you need right now is something like "driving fruit to your local food kitchen", even if that feels very, very small in the wake of everything, because it's something you can do that you will be able to see measurable impacts for. your "do" can be to bring soup to your siblings. your "do" can be to go over to a friend's and hug them. your "do" can be as simple as a donation. you don't have to be firing on all cylinders, and you don't have to do something big that will fix everything right now. trying to hard to focus on that will just lead to more despair. it's more about the doing.

four: a thing i've done for a long time that's helped me when i feel helpless is make a list of things i CAN do. that way, even if i'm too tired right now to do them, i know i can. when i feel like i am trapped, i have a list. i can follow the list. i know there are actions i can take. i know that i haven't exhausted everything yet.

five: "do something" is a long-term proposition. for now it is fine if you simply need to lie down and rest. the key is just not to lie down to die.

six: because it's not over. it never has been. it never will be. it never is. the trial never ends, whether we win or lose. kinda sucks sometimes! but it's also what is, and it means there's always more that can be done as well. even when it seems like there's not.

[cheeseburgersinparadise]

Why is death feederism ok? It is objectively self harm, as one is doing something that will result in them hurting themselves and eventually dying (as fetishized). I just can’t understand it… I am someone in this space that likes being stuffed and full, and doesn’t mind a little biy of wg… but I just don’t understand why gaining until death is encouraged so much when it’s so extreme and life ruining.

Like if there was a feeder and feedee couple that were into it… what would happen if the feeder had issues and couldn’t help the feedee that is reliant on their feeder? What happens if they break up and the feedee is dependent enough where they need family or something to help?? I mean it’s just… they could literally die if they were so dependent and forced to live on their own.. encouraging people to ruin their lives because it makes their private part excited is encouraging self harm.

This is my opinion and I seriously want to know what you have to say… I brought this up to someone else and their response was to block me and say “I think death feeding women think more critically about the fetish🤔” without response. And just so you know this isn’t fatphobic, i never once said I find fat people gross or anything, I just find the idea of fetishizing self harm gross. It’s fetishizing being disabled and or dead.

TW for death feedism, kink talk, self harm/suicide

so general disclaimer - I am not a death feedist and so I don’t know that I’m a good representative to speak on this topic but I’ll share some brief thoughts.

I think it’s okay to look at extreme fetishes and feel uncomfortable with them, so I’m not going to try and tell you that you can’t feel the way you do. I was very critical of people who practiced this fetish in ways I personally didn’t like and this community helped me realize it’s not my business to do that. There is no moral superiority in kink.

The thing is though - in order to be sex positive and an ally to our fellow feedists (yes, even the ones we disagree with or don’t like how they practice the fetish) we have to respect their bodily autonomy and allow them to make whatever decisions they think is best for them. It’s not our job nor our place to tell folks what they can and can’t do.

I would maybe agree that it’s a slippery slope and in a very extreme case, you could argue that this line of thinking would allow us to excuse a suicide fetish, for example (unsure if that’s a real thing). But there ARE disability fetishes and a fetish isn’t inherently bad as long as there are informed consenting parties and you are practicing RACK.

I don’t know if that line of thinking is even worth arguing because it could only serve to slip the other way up the slope back to overt purity culture. I want to validate your thoughts and questions because its important to critically analyze things and i want to believe you are coming from a place of good faith (and I have it in me to try and discuss this).

Regarding the statement of “death feedists think more critically about the fetish” could be true, as realizing you’re a death feedist DOES require reflection and understanding of yourself and of fatphobia in general. I haven’t had at length discussions with folks about this but the death feedists on my dash that post about fat lib seem to know their shit.

At the end of the day, why death feedists enjoy that aspect of the fetish is not for me to debate with or without them present. It’s not for me to tell them what they can and can’t do with their bodies. That aspect of the fetish isn’t for me, but that doesn’t mean I have the right to tell others what they should get off to. I also think death feedists are a smaller portion of the community and it’s easy to block the tags they use if you don’t want to see their content. I know a few death feedists and I like them (at least their online persona) and they are probably more equipped to discuss this if they want to. So please feel free to add some comments if you’d like, death feedist friends.

My advice is practice radical acceptance. It feels uncomfortable but I think ultimately it makes you a better person when dealing with things you think are weird or gross or bad.

[stardustdiiving]

YOU ARE AN ARCHON AND YOUR ENTIRE NATION IS IN CRISIS! WHAT DO YOU DO!

#VENTI: take a break from 100 years of chilling to help solve the problem

#ZHONGLI: I can help if needed but I’m going to try chilling this time. I think my people have it under control 👍

#EI: if it is solved with brute force I will hit it until it dies. Otherwise I may in fact be the cause of the crisis ☹️

#NAHIDA: killing myself in self sacrifice

#FURINA: also killing myself in self sacrifice (theatre kid edition)

[signanothername]

Reading your head canon, I am surprised that each Murder agreed to work with Nightmare instead of a duel to death and be passively aggressive instead of fully aggressive and non-compliant, and use any knowledge of Nightmare and Killer to hit them where it hurts. Since Nightmare cannot destroy AUs like Error, Murder's only fear would be his own death, not due to the pain, but because of his own self-penance to haunt Dusttale alone and stop the human. Like when he is "recruited" by Nightmare or as you mention in your head canon, brought back by Killer, I would still think Murder would make sure the fights either end with his win or his death. After all, Murder values his autonomy and freedom. Because even if Murder is an adaptive, intelligent tactician, he is still a mortal compared to Nightmare, he would realize he has reached a dead end, so death is the only option, compared to working with two people that remind of the human that he hates. Well, the only reason I see Murder pretending to be compliant is to probably plan a betrayal and join Dream, as Dream is the only weapon against Nightmare, maybe even try to train him, because he doesn't care about Dream, but Nightmare is as bad or worse than the human, so by Murder's logic, he should be put down. Otherwise he has no ability to travel home or power to harm Nightmare, so as mentioned above death is the only other option. Over all, it could be argued that every Murder!Sans has a lot of reasons to defy or fight Nightmare, even if it causes his death. Plus I still think Murder vs Killer wouldn't be so one sided for Killer, since Murder, as Sans spent more time improving his skills during the resets compared to the loads Killer, as Sans spent fighting Chara over and over. So beside loading, I still think Murder might have an edge in battle experience and intelligence.

The ask Anon is referring to for context <33

Oh Murder was not compliant, not at all Anon, in fact, that’s exactly why I think Murder gets replaced the most, it’s because of how non-compliant he is, I don’t think Murder would ever agree to join the gang, I never said he would

You’ll notice I only talked about his passive aggressiveness with Killer specifically in the Murder Time Trio ask, and in fact, do talk about how Murder would pry into Killer’s private matters all just to piss him off, I never went on about Murder’s relationship with Nightmare in depth

And I didn’t go in depth cause the previous ask was for the Murder Time Trio as a whole, and their relationship with each other, so I couldn’t just talk about Murder in depth or in much detail as I wanted cause otherwise I would’ve absolutely diverted from the main point of that ask

But now that I have this beautiful ask I can actually go in depth as much as I want >:)

And you’re absolutely right that Nightmare can’t destroy AUs, the most Nightmare could do is lay waste to the Au, but Dusttale is already a wasteland so nothing much Nightmare could do there, that’s exactly why I say that Murder would try his luck and run back to his Au (and continue on doing it over and over), and it’s exactly why I say that Nightmare struggles with controlling Murder the most, cause Nightmare has no true power over him mentally, Murder doesn’t care about dying by Nightmare’s hand and he knows he could try his luck as much as Nightmare’s patience allows

Murder would definitely perfer death over being under Nightmare, cause if he can’t be useful enough to save his Au from the human what’s the point?

In fact allow me to be bold and say that I wholeheartedly believe Murder is also the hardest to “recruit” by Nightmare, cause I genuinely believe that in some timelines, the Murder that was supposed to be recruited by Nightmare just offed himself before Nightmare could get ahold of him, cause again, better death than be taken away from his Au, something that Nightmare has grown wise to and usually tries to knock Murder out before he tries such extreme measures, then later Nightmare controls Murder in certain ways once he’s got Murder under him

But here’s the thing, when we talk about Murder and Nightmare’s relationship, only looking at one side of the coin (in this context Murder) is missing the point in my humble opinion, cause yes, Murder does prefer death, and yes Murder would be aggressive and noncompliant, but how does Nightmare deal with that? Cause in every relationship there are multiple sides to look at, not just one

Cause while Murder prefers death, wouldn’t it make sense to also believe that Murder would want to preserve his life to be able to get back to his Au and stop the human? I mean Murder cares this much about his Au doesn’t he?

And that’s exactly why I previously mentioned Nightmare’s emotional/mental manipulation tactics, Nightmare knows Murder would try to preserve his life IF he has hope he can get back to his Au, so Nightmare LETS Murder get back to his Au from time to time, all to give Murder the false hope that he can get away, that false hope contributes to Murder thinking that death isn’t the only way out, further lengthening Murder’s stay under Nightmare, all while Nightmare uses the “you can go back to your Aus” card as some sort of reward for “good work”, to condition Murder to (very reluctantly) work for Nightmare to get this “reward”, all while “bad behavior” aka Murder trying to run back to his Au on his own (which literally doesn’t work cause Murder doesn’t have the ability to hop between Aus) means Nightmare punishes Murder by forbidding him from going to his Au, which usually ends with Murder clawing at Nightmare, which only further worsens his punishment

So as time goes on you can imagine Nightmare understanding Murder enough to be able to get to a point in which he can condition Murder enough so he becomes a bit less hostile just to get his chances to get back to his Au, only to be dragged back by Killer when Nightmare deems Murder has had enough “home time”

And here’s an interesting question, why won’t Nightmare go himself to get Murder back from his Au? It’ll be a lot easier and less time and source consuming wouldn’t it?

And to me? No it’s not cause he’s an all mighty King and he just sits on his ass doing nothing and lets his underlings do the dirty work for him (cause while i believe Nightmare deems some things as “beneath him” I despise the idea that Nightmare is an absolute lazy bitch that doesn’t do anything but monologue, which is why I interpret Nightmare my own way) in fact, I like to think Nightmare is so fucking obsessed with being in control, that in fact he’s sure to keep everything under his watchful eye, he knows every little thing about his prey (in this instance it’s the Murder Time Trio) he knows what they do, how, and when, he knows every little weakness and every little strength they hold, he understands them to the littlest detail in order to keep control over them

And in my interpretation of Nightmare, sending Killer instead of going himself is just another manipulation tactic, Nightmare knows Murder would be a bit confident in his ability to fight (and even win) against Killer, something that he won’t believe if it was Nightmare himself that came to get him, it further engraves that false hope that Murder can get away one day, if (or “when” in Murder’s view) he wins against Killer

Which brings me to the question, is Killer vs Murder one sided for Killer? No I don’t believe it is, in fact I agree that Murder has spent his time refining his skills and experience, however, let’s not forget Killer also is just as intelligent as Murder is, I for one think Killer and Murder are almost on bar with each other in terms of who wins or loses

I’m not going to sit here and pretend I’m not biased towards Killer, cause I definitely am, it’s very obvious that he’s my favorite, so please don’t take my interpretation as an objective correct analysis of their fight, i’ll be simply talking from my humble (very biased) opinion

However if we think logically, Killer has a few things Murder doesn’t, and these would be 1-inability to recognize his body’s limit, 2-his soul’s stages, and 3-a much higher LV than Murder’s

Murder is at LV 19 mostly, Killer, while Rahafwabas has stated they’ll leave it up to interpretation, has been shown in a comic to have a glitched LV of 99999, which in my opinion makes sense considering the Determination Killer’s soul holds, and it automatically means that Killer’s stronger than Murder (if we wanted to get technical at least)

But I don’t like technicalities in analysis of fights so that brings me to the points I’m actually interested in

Something to keep in mind, is that Killer is also just as intelligent as Murder is, Killer’s mind moves just as quick as his body moves, he improvises mid battle and is generally very unpredictable, and to top it all off, Killer fights dirty, he uses any means necessary, and he doesn’t rely on raw power, but on his mind to win

Killer is also extremely observant and has a tendency to study people under a microscope, all while pretending he’s the stupidest most idiotic bitch you ever met, so Killer probably has Murder’s weaknesses memorized and probably already studied Murder enough to know how to deal with him during a battle

Not to mention, if we talk about how much experience each of them holds, then it’s really up for interpretation, cause listen, in my interpretation, I believe Murder has amazing experience, but you’re also talking about Killer, who worked under Nightmare before any of the others, meaning Killer not only has just as much experience, but Killer’s experience is vast and varied, as he fights a variety of people from completely different Aus, with different levels of powers/ intelligence, all while Murder only fights the same people under the same circumstances over and over (then again, this is really up for interpretation, your interpretation of whether Killer worked under Nightmare first or not could be different, i’m only talking from my own point of view, it’s not a hard fast truth or a correct objective interpretation, so please feel free to disagree <333)

Killer (at stage 2) doesn’t recognize his body’s limits, he in fact, thrives on pain, Killer could literally reach the point where his body would collapse at any second and yet still fight like it’s nothing, he’ll go beyond that point, Murder won’t, once Murder’s body reaches its limit it’ll immediately mean he lost, cause Killer won’t stop until A-his mission is complete and he dragged Murder back, or B-he’s dead, there’s no in between for stage 2 Killer

Which brings me to the point you mentioned which is the loading, whether Killer can save and load is really up for interpretation, cause as far as I know, there’s no canonical info on whether he can save and load, but I for one, believe he can, and how long can Murder hold his own against Killer before Murder reaches his limit? When Killer holds the same power the human (who Murder keeps losing to) holds?

Another thing to keep in mind is Killer’s stages, they provide a great advantage in terms of fighting, cause while I believe Murder can absolutely hold his own against stage 2 Killer, I don’t believe he’ll have much advantage against stage 3 Killer, and he sure as hell will not ba able to keep up against a stage 4 Killer, now whether Murder would trigger Killer enough to reach stage 3 and 4 is really up to you and what you like to think, I for one think if Murder knew about Killer’s stages, he’d be smart enough not to trigger Killer to reach those stages cause he would know he won’t win if Killer did reach them, however if Murder doesn’t know about his stages, then the possibility of Murder triggering Killer into stage 3 or 4 on accident is possible, which will not end on a good note for Murder

All that aside, do I believe that Killer always wins against Murder? No not at all, I actually like to believe that sometimes Killer wins, other times Murder wins, and other times? Killer had taken his sweet time trying to get Murder who was holding his own pretty well, that Nightmare shows up himself to take care of it (usually Nightmare would be very pissed at both of them, resulting in Killer and Murder paying grave consequences)

As for Murder working with Dream, I honestly can’t see Murder having the patience to actually work with him, cause each second he spends with Dream is another second away from his Au, and I believe Murder is smart enough to know Nightmare isn’t very easy to take down, other than the raw power and intelligence Nightmare holds, if Dream was truly able to take him down Murder would think Dream would’ve already done it, Murder is intelligent enough to recognize working with Dream would be a waste of time and effort that could’ve been used on much more important matters (such as getting back to his Au)

The only reason I’d see Murder making contact with Dream at all is to only request that Dream open a portal to his Au, only to realize whoops!! Dream can’t open a portal to a place filled with negativity, which only would frustrate the shit outta Murder

Murder’s circumstance really makes me sad ngl, the guy just wants to be back home dammit 😔

[jensensitive]

re: "I'm proud of us" in 9x23 vs "I'm proud of you" in 15x20

Jensen: In fifteen, Dean knew he was hanging it up. He was gonna hang it up, and he needed [Sam] to continue. But not continue to find a way to get him back, none of that. So he needed-- Dean needed Sam to understand uh, how proud of him he was in a way of like-- it was an "I love you and I always will but I gotta go now." Whereas, I don't think in nine Dean was ready to go. He was like, I didn't-- yknow, up to this point, let's see where we go from here, but up to this point, if this is the end, then I'm really proud of what we've done. But then it was like, "no this is the end for me. And don't try to save me. Cause I'm-- I'm tired. And I'm ready to go. But I need you to know something. And that is that I'm proud of you."

[njcon24]

[trans-androgyne]

Heyyyy guess who’s back from the psych ward B)

In all seriousness though, there are gonna be some changes to my blog. A huge contributor to my recent suicidality and resulting involuntary hospitalization was the current state of the online trans community. Seeing this discourse devolve into so much unabashed transmisogyny and transandrophobia (in addition to drowning out the voices of non-binary and intersex folks) feels like it’s slowly killing me. I feel even worse than I did when I almost detransitioned over it last year.

Radical feminism has become pervasive in the queer/trans community, with different branches discriminating against both trans people afab and trans people amab by considering one group or the other to be The Oppressor and categorically attributing them power that they simply do not have as trans people under cisheteropatriarchy (I don’t like agab terms in this context, but that kind of binary is how radfems sort the world: amab/afab, victim/oppressor). Too many folks refuse to listen to the experiences of trans people different from them and insist certain experiences are exclusive to their demographic and/or that one kind of oppression is objectively Worse than others. Not to mention just blatantly misunderstanding sexism and intersectionality.

So, I’m disengaging from as much of it as I can, at least for now. I won’t be checking the tags anymore, I won’t be reblogging quite as many posts. Instead, I’m going to focus on transfeminism from actual researched/published sources, not what random tumblr users claim it to be. That doesn’t mean there isn’t incredibly valuable theory on here, but I haven’t found a way to access it without also ending up knee deep in some of the most hateful and vile behavior I’ve seen within a minority community yet. I’m going to do my best to focus on trans positivity, my own life as a non-binary transmasc, and intersectional transfeminist theory grounded in real trans experiences. I'll start posting slowly again as I recover--it won't be as frequent as before, but what I do put out should be more well-researched and constructive.

If you’re still in the discourse trenches, responding to every incident of intracommunity transphobia on here and arguing on 10-note posts claiming to summarize transfeminism, I wish you the best of luck. Just please, take care of yourself and know when to step away. Stay safe out there.

[sun-of-4-gun]

reeding your Six ear backstory I'm curious on what the jttw gang thought of him? where they like:

"that monkey looks a lot like you"

SWK: yeeAhh how much of a coincidence O﹏o

hahah essentially!

Tang: Why did he look like you?!??

Monkey: No idea (lie), but I am flattered! Not happy about everything else though.

it was a very "Fuck You. Random Chimp Event 🫵" moment because to the pilgrims, Six seemingly came out of nowhere and took Monkey's place after he was banished. later on they thought they had him back but it was an imposter! I'd imagine it was Sandy & Horsie who were suspicious of "Monkey", because Pigsy & Tripitaka were thinking of him as being much better than before, except it isn't really Monkey or Stick and neither were being aggravatingly annoying or frustratingly aggressive!!

Monkey only realised what Six was when he was just about to destroy him. with the No Killing Rule by Tripitaka, and Buddha & Lin's sympathy for him 500 years ago, he gives it a second thought to not kill this guy, who to his understanding is basically just a younger version of himself under different circumstances. in a way maybe it would've been like killing himself, or at least these negative aspects within that manifested to ruin his own life, metaphorical &/ literal self-sabotaging & harm if you will. because "Six" was initially pushed away & buried to the back of his mind, but bottling up ruins you, and that's exactly what almost came to be

so he does it again, but this time with a positive outlook and hope this six-eared macaque will understand that what he did was wrong during timeout. just as Buddha did for him once!

there isn't much to think of for the others since it was all so chaotic & confusing. one moment Monkey killed a bunch of guys and claims he didn't, and after being banished by Tripitaka for "lying & murder", he came back to apologise because apparently he did kill people! but it turns out no, he didn't, because that was the six-eared macaque who framed him, stole his identity, & almost got away with their luggage if it weren't for the real Sun Wukong! I don't think Monkey even tells/confirms to anyone about the fact that technically he created Six, so this is all his fault for not talking about his feelings 5 years ago, and he's still not going to talk about this maybe after 1,000 years because it's just so out of the blue!

Pigsy assumes that was just a rogue hair clone, he teases how more pleasant & tolerable Six was compared to the original, and prefers a quiet Stick. this earns him a bonk in the head

Tripitaka hopes that Monkey keeps his promise to free Six in 500 years & give a chance to redeem himself like he has for him. he's glad his youngest disciple didn't kill the specious macaque & is being considerate of other's feelings

Sandy was absolutely furious about fighting his own shadow, as Six borrowed it to match his prowess when they battled. I'd think he has ideas of his origin but it remains a quiet understanding and unspoken secret between him & Monkey

Horsie prefers the original and did not like Six even when he was in disguise. I imagine he instantly sensed it wasn't his friend but couldn't understand what was different. the vibes were just off but again, didn't say anything

and so after that kerfuffle, they'll carry on their journey like nothing happened to the next episode!

[sweetbunpura]

Please make a fanfic about how Rollo falls in love with Yuu. How did he become from a genocidal maniac who was hellbent on eliminating magic to one of the sweetest sympathetic characters in Ramshackle?

I can tell you, that that's somewhere in my works. So you get to see how Yuu managed to do this, but I'll take about the progress to how she broke his shell.

Getting kicked out of NBC does that to you. You'd think it'd make it worse in Rollo, but Yuu is a beast tamer for a reason. Rollo was snippy towards her, until she swiftly put him in his place. After that, Yuu let Rollo to his own devices.... which was a terrible idea, cause Rollo just started spiraling.

He didn't eat, he hardly slept, everything was a struggle with having him do anything. It was like getting an abused animal from the shelter and they fall into fear mode in their new home. When Yuu noticed something was up, she was very pissed.

"What the absolute fuck are you doing?"

"Why do you care all of a sudden?" Rollo's glaring at her from his spot on the infirmary bed. "You left me to my own devices, remember?"

"I left you to do shit on your own, NOT FUCKING STARVE!" Yuu's growl was almost inhuman. "You sack of shit, is this what you're going to do to yourself?"

"I have nothing more to fight for-"

"Your parents lost one son, they don't need to lose another!" She grabbed him by the shirt. "If you need a reason to keep going, look around you and take a deep breath in. Jehan would've wanted you to live on." She let him go and pushed a lunch box towards. "Now eat."

And after that, Rollo started to shyly repair that relationship with Yuu while working on his community service for the others.